Kim Kardash and a Stache - The Demise of the NBA

Basketball. It is the first sport that I truly loved. I remember the day, back in 2nd grade, when my father first introduced me to the sport. He taught me how to shoot in my backyard. For the next 15 years, I did not stop shooting.

I also remember the first player I looked up to, and it wasn't Michael Jordan. I have a hard time looking up to a historic athlete who decided to don a mustache similar to that of Adolf Hitler.

Michael Jordan. Yikes.

Seriously? Maybe, just maybe, I would also have more respect for him if he didn't always blitzkrieg his way to local stripclubs.

But I'm not here to talk about Air Hitler.

The first player I looked up to? Hakeen Olajuwon. One of the most versatile centers to ever play the game. He was a threat on both ends of the court, was a shot blocking freak, and donned the dream shake. Oh the dream shake.

Hakeen Olajuwon

MJ, when it comes to the dream shake, thinks of something completely different and not suitable to younger audiences. Haven't I made that clear already? But Hakeem "The Dream" Olajuwon, with his dream shake, found a way to fake a basketball shot twice in one move to immobilize a defender and finish by executing a simple lay-up. Those were the beautiful days of professional basketball. Basketball role models were everywhere, with the likes of Charles Barkley, Penny Hardaway, Shaq, David Robertson, and more. Movies about basketball were coming out, like Space Jam, For the Love of the Game, and Air Bud! The NBA was filled with talented athletes that cared only about playing the game they loved. They dedicated their life to the game of basketball.

So what's going on in the NBA now you ask? It doesn't exist at the moment. Why do you ask? Well let me tell you.

First, for those who don't know how the business of sports works specifically, here's a quick summary. Sports associations are made up of two parties: players and owners. There is a certain amount of revenue that is generated by the league and both parties have to decide how they want to split the related income. They also have to mutually agree on a set of rules that involve contracts, salary caps, etc. When the players and owners agree on a set of rules, they both sign whats called a Collective Bargaining Agreement, or CBA, which usually has a life of 10 years before it expires and a new CBA must be agreed upon.

The CBA, first signed in 2005, proved to be difficult for the owners, as the gap between small-market and large-market teams was widened, substantial losses were reported, and stadium workers were being laid off. By 2011, the NBA was posting a loss of $300 million per year. Basketball related income was split in clear favor of the players at 57-43 percent. Naturally, one would think that its time for a change.

The obvious solution: give the players less money. Its simple. Players get their paychecks and get to buy expensive houses, Ferrari's, helicopters, etc. Owners get their paychecks, which are large, but then have to invest that in their team. However, players, before negotiations, wanted more money.

What?

After initial talks, players offered, over 10 years, to go from 57% to 54.5%, which forks over about $500 million.

So that's supposed to cover the $300 million loss per year over the next 10 years, right?

This eventually ended in a lockout, where the owners prevent the players from meeting as a team and using the NBA facilities. Talks between the owners and players continued to the point where they disagreed between one or two percentage points. The players refused to play basketball if they were going to get less than 52% of revenue. Soon, they were given a final offer of 51%, which could grow to 52%, and even lightened up on the salary cap issues that upset the players. But the players rejected the offer, because it was presented like an ultimatum. Now, the players are taking the issue to court and soon filing an anti-trust lawsuit against the owners, and may potentially cancel not only this NBA season, but the next as well.

Hopefully, you're as disgusted as I am, considering during the last several paragraphs there was no mention of love for the game of basketball, because, quite frankly, there isn't any. It's as simple as this: if the players truly loved the game of basketball, they would've accepted the deal before this got out of hand. Instead, they are fighting over the fact that their average salaries will drop from $5.4 million to $5 million.

If I may, let's talk briefly about why we don't like Kim Kardashian and her other Kardashian minions. She's thinks mostly about herself, is quite shallow, and seems to lack basic human morality. We are upset, lately, because she abused the sanctity of marriage, by pocketing nearly $17 million and managed to be married for simply three months to Chris Humphries, ironically an NBA player. NBA players, not by contrast, but at a much higher magnitude, do the same as Kim does, with the exception of abusing the sanctity of marriage obviously. NBA players think all about themselves, obviously are shallow, and are abusing the game of basketball by taking the matter to court in an attempt to settle a suit with the hopes of getting more money. Sorry, I did not get the memo that said $5 million wasn't enough...

By simple logic, I would rather watch the Kardashians stir in their own first-world problems then watch an NBA basketball game.

The game I loved for nearly two decades has been tarnished by the collapse of the NBA. Much like the collapse of Rome, the NBA has reached the point of being a failed state. Its that same too big to fail mentality that dooms establishments that think that they are so special that they need the preferential treatment from society. We live in a world where hard working individuals struggle every day with putting food on the table. Experienced teachers who live paycheck to paycheck are being laid off. The average income of suburban households in Uganda is around $600 per year. So when Derek Fisher, point guard and president of the players union, says that the players are sorry for the fans and cannot wait to get back on the court, I don't believe him. Derek, you think going from an average salary of $5.4-5 million isn't fair? Take your Rolls-Royce to a local public school and tell a senior teacher who just had their salary slashed that its not fair. You think the players union is being treated like plantation workers? Take a flight in your G4 to visit an actual plantation worker and tell them its not fair, and they will show you how hard you really have to work for money.

And owners, you are just as bad. Owners spend unnecessary amounts of money to old players who have little skill. Owners are the ones who locked out the players, which also locked out those with stadium jobs. Parking attendants, vendors, customer service associates, trainers, security guards, cameramen, janitors, and stadium attendants will be out of a job. Linda, a friend of mine, who works at the Target Center for Timberwolves games, no longer has a job. So, I'm sorry I'm not sorry that I turn a deaf ear to the pathetic and cowardly rants of NBA players and owners. How about you realize that you live a very healthy and wealthy lifestyle first and get back to work, just like the harder working individuals who have their careers in jeopardy because you are complaining about losing about 5-10% of your multi-million dollar contract.

If this blog post comes across as too emotional, I do apologize. I love to write and love to tell friends and family what is on my mind, but I never want to rant about my issues. I definitely did that here, but I have been meaning to get my thoughts on this topic off my chest.

Dikembe Mutombo

Dikembe Mutombo, a star center for the Denver Nuggets and the Houston Rockets in the 90s, wagged his finger back and forth whenever he blocked someones shot. He probably thought "you should be ashamed for yourself to think you could score on me."

I know, somewhere, Dikembe is shamed of the NBA, wagging his finger again.

Back and forth.



Alex

Its OK to Microwave your Coffee

If I am consistent about anything in my life, which now convincingly is not updating my blog, its consuming delicious coffee in the morning. No I am not one of those give-me-my-coffee-now or I will burn-this-house-down kind of people. If I don't get it, I simply will not have the happiness born from its roasty goodness, nor will I have the energy to prevent me from missing a beat or two throughout the day.

I have not always been in love with the intricate process of crafting and the delightful imbibing a solid cup of Joe. Less than a year ago, to me coffee was synonymous with what ends up in the cleaning bucket after a grade school teacher washes a chalk-ridden blackboard. It was also similar to what you would hypothetically get if you were so possessed to combine shredded cardboard and tap water. By the way, if you have ever made such a beverage and enjoyed it... its not a beverage, you are sick, and are in need of help.

1 year ago...

cof·fee noun 
1 substance formed from the rapid grinding of cardboard mixed with water from sewage runoff:
I'll take a tall cardboard wat... sorry, I mean coffee.
2 a drink surely to have no taste at all
The absence of taste in this coffee is tremendous!


Present...

cof·fee noun | cough-ee |
1 a drink derived from a rich, flavorful blend of roasted tropical beans
I'll take a coffee, the best thing on the menu of course!
2 a concoction of flavorful aromas and delicious plethoras of caffeinated bliss
3 a drink, its consumption of which can yield tremendous and infinite powers
I drink coffee, therefore, I am better than you.


Michelle, my lovely wife scoffs at my present definition, but according to number three, she doesn't know what she is talking about.

My journey into the world of coffee was not gradual by any means. It was as rapid as a Discovery shuttle's journey from Earth to space.

Back in February, while at the Chicago Tribune, you would find me doing market research and experimenting with coffee, using my trustworthy, puny $15 Mr. Coffee from Target. I worked with a guy named Ed Ney, whom, unbeknownst to me at the time, was, by his terms, a coffee snob. So when I, the noisy little research intern, tell him that we can make coffee in the morning with my little coffee contraption, I think I'm right at home in this "coffee club," while he is questioning my membership and more considering my candidacy as a lunatic.

Ed was the reason why I ducked around the introductory stages of coffee and space shuttled right into drinking the "good stuff," which to me back then still tasted like "bad stuff."

He showed me how to make coffee using a French press. By the way, a French press is not as French as some of us think. It was created and patented by a Milanese designer named Atillio Calimani, whom is very much Italian. The only thing French about a French press is the fact that the press was first used within the country borderlines of France. Whoop de doo.

A "French" press is also called cafetiere, press pot, and coffee plunger, a term they use in South Africa. The last one would seem fitting with my previous attitude, where I would consider using a toilet plunger to yield the same, if not better, result.

The process Ed used to create coffee was very intricate, using multiple devices, that more or less turned our boring break room into an interesting, attention grabbing laboratory.

The first step is to begin with whole bean coffee. If you use finely ground coffee, you will still get coffee, but it will look more like Turkish coffee, which pretty much sludge. If that's your thing, more power to you.

The next step is to grind the beans with a coffee grinder to a point where you want coarse chunks instead of powder. I have a Cuisinart 15-setting burr-mill grinder that has various settings depending how fine or course you wish to grind your coffee. It is quite loud, but this is a necessary sacrifice that I have gotten used to. It actually has become quite entertaining because when I turn it on, my cat, being quite skittish, jumps a foot in the air and runs away into the living room, hitting a wall or tripping over something in the process.

In the press canister, I mix the grinds with boiling water and the brewing process begins, looking like a science experiment. Using boiling water was the most popular method of making coffee until the 1930s, where the filtrated method swiftly took its place at the top. The idea is to boil water and immediately combine the grounds to begin the brewing process with the water at around 205 degrees Fahrenheit, which releases aromatic oils from the beans. Any hotter, and you'll get a bitter taste.  Any colder, and it will feel like you are drinking bean water thats hot.  Not preferable.

Let the process take place for four minutes, and finally, press the filter down the canister to separate the grounds from the water to create... coffee! Enjoy its roasty deliciousness.

Also, you want to know what goes great with a cup of French pressed coffee? A Macbook!

Oh, now to the topic of my blog post. Many coffee enthusiasts (snobs) say that putting your coffee in the microwave is up there with putting ketchup on a Chicago-style hot dog. If your coffee is cold, want to know what I say? Do it! What is your alternative? Are you seriously going to dump out all that hard work and effort you put in to make such a surreal and eloquent brew? I didn't think so. Yes, you will lose a little bit of taste, but who cares!

A little love from the microwave never hurt anybody. Moral of the story.

And that coffee makes you a better person.  BOOM, roasted! (Literally.)

Alex